The Orbit Report: Bowling Alley Chaos, Busch Light Legends & One Sneaky Husband at a College football Game

It’s that time of year again in Iowa — the air’s crisp, the leaves are gold, and the smell of pumpkin spice is wrestling with the scent of tailgate chili. The week might’ve been “slow,” but around here, even slow weeks come with stories worth telling — from family victories and fall colors to one wild trick pulled by my husband at the college football Iowa Hawkeye game.

Bowling, Busch Light, and 800 Tickets to Glory

Let’s start where all good Midwest tales begin — at the bowling alley.

Midweek, my husband showed up with our youngest, full of sass, confidence, and arcade strategy. She made a beeline for the prize games like she was storming Vegas.

A few buttons, a lot of noise, and suddenly — jackpot! Nearly 800 tickets came flying out of the machine like it was coughing up a secret.

She cashed them in for a glowing slinky, candy that could power a small city, and bragging rights that might last until Christmas.

Meanwhile, my husband — in true Midwestern dad fashion — somehow charmed someone into buying him a Busch Light, naturally. He cracked it open like it was the sacred beverage of champions. The pizza came out bubbling hot, the lanes glowed under neon lights, and for one perfect moment, time slowed down — just long enough for us to laugh, bowl, and soak in the simple joy of it all.

We laughed.  My husband and kiddo went home.  A few hours later,  I finished my shift… And it hit me — after twenty years together, our orbit might get messy, but it’s perfectly ours.

Movie Night Madness: Our Top 5 Halloween Picks

Fall in Iowa means one thing: snack-powered movie marathons. And in our house, that’s a full-contact sport.

There’s popcorn flying, blankets everywhere, and at least one argument about who ate the last bag of freeze-dried apples. After a heated family debate (and a few “you’re out of your mind” comments), we narrowed down our Top 5 Halloween Movies:

1. Hocus Pocus

2. Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

3. Scream

4. Poltergeist

5. Silence of the Lambs

The movies are great — but it’s the chaos that makes it memorable. The laughter, the screams, and the inevitable “Wait… what’s behind you?!” moments. Those are the nights that make fall feel alive (and justify all the snacks we eat).

That Weird AI Ad We Accidentally Published

Okay, let’s talk about the digital elephant in the room — that bizarre AI-generated ad we unleashed on the internet last week. Yeah… that one.

It started innocently: “Let’s make a fun promo for our snacks,” we said. Next thing I know, there are glowing space zombies, screaming aliens, and laser beams shooting out of a freeze-dried banana.

Within seconds, it looked less like a commercial and more like a fever dream sponsored by Mountain Dew and chaos itself while watching college football in my thoughts.

Honestly, it had major “Colonial Lanes Bowling Commercials meets Area 51” energy — and for reasons beyond human logic, people loved it. Maybe it's nostalgia. Maybe it’s the cosmic absurdity. Or maybe AI finally figured out what Midwest humor really looks like.

Either way, the internet can keep it — we’ll just be over here freeze-drying snacks and pretending that didn’t happen.

Coming Soon: The Torus Wellness Journal

While AI was busy losing its mind, I’ve been crafting something slightly more human — the upcoming Inspirational Wellness Journal from Torus Coffee Company.  It’s a little mindfulness, a little motivation, and a lot of coffee-fueled inspiration.

Don’t tell anyone… We're still testing if anyone reads this far down the blog. 😉

The Hawkeyes Win, and My Husband Pulls Another “I Know a Guy”

Every fall in the Midwest brings two things: changing leaves and another one of my husband’s legendary “I know a guy” stories.

A few weeks ago, he swore he was going to “work” at the Iowa Hawkeyes football games. 

Naturally, I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, sure you are,” I told him.

Fast forward to Saturday: Iowa vs. Minnesota. The crisp fall air was buzzing with tailgates, cheers, and the smell of victory nachos. And wouldn’t you know it? My husband somehow ended up working at the stadium — badge, vest, and all — chatting up a CBS Sports cameraman named Mitch.

Mitch wasn’t just any cameraman — he’d been filming college football since the ’80s… 70’s…  40’s?  The man had stories that could fill a library. Between plays, Mitch told my husband about his late wife, her love for college football, and how being part of the game keeps him connected to her memory.

Somewhere in the conversation (because of course he did), my husband shared how he once hacked a satellite feed in Iraq just to stream a Hawkeye game. Mitch nearly fell over laughing.

The game? Iowa 41 – Minnesota 3. Total domination. My husband came home grinning, holding a White Claw and a Fireball shooter like trophies to give to me.

At least this time, he brought me a drink and a story good enough for The Orbit Report.

Wrapping Up the Orbit

Another week, another wild spin around our little Iowa galaxy! Between bowling alley chaos, crisp fall walks, spooky movie nights, and a Hawkeyes victory, it’s been a perfectly weird and wonderful slice of small-town life.

As always, thanks for orbiting with me here at Torus Coffee Company — where we keep life fun, crunchy, and a little bit cosmic. If you need fuel for your next adventure, grab some of our freeze-dried snacks (like Solar Strawberries or Neapolitan Orbit Cream Crunch) and taste what it’s like to snack among the stars.

Stay curious. Stay crunchy. Stay cosmic. 

Sara Jane Shelvock, CEO, Torus Coffee Company LLC

P.S. You think this week was wild? Wait till you see the pictures of my husband trying to open a jar of chicken Alfredo — spoiler: the jar won by knockout. 🍝💥😂